Verse

Proverbs 11:1-4

The Lord detests dishonest scales,
   but accurate weights find favor with him.
When pride comes, then comes disgrace,
   but with humility comes wisdom.
The integrity of the upright guides them,
   but the unfaithful are destroyed by their duplicity.
Wealth is worthless in the day of wrath,
   but righteousness delivers from death.

Quote

Frederick Wilcox,

"Progress always involves risk; you can't steal second base and keep your foot on first."

Joke

Why don't eggs tell jokes?

They'd crack each other up.

Verse

Proverbs 8:22-31

The Lord brought me forth as the first of his works, c d
  before his deeds of old;
I was formed long ages ago,
  at the very beginning, when the world came to be.
When there were no watery depths, I was given birth,
  when there were no springs overflowing with water;
before the mountains were settled in place,
  before the hills, I was given birth,
before he made the world or its fields
  or any of the dust of the earth.
I was there when he set the heavens in place,
  when he marked out the horizon on the face of the deep,
when he established the clouds above
  and fixed securely the fountains of the deep,
when he gave the sea its boundary
  so the waters would not overstep his command,
  and when he marked out the foundations of the earth.
Then I was constantly e at his side.
  I was filled with delight day after day,
  rejoicing always in his presence,
rejoicing in his whole world
  and delighting in mankind.

Quote

Channing Pollock,

"The only good luck many great men ever had was being born with the ability and determination to overcome bad luck."

Joke

Where do boats go when they're sick?

To the boat doc

Verse

Proverbs 4:18,19

The path of the righteous is like the morning sun,
   shining ever brighter till the full light of day.
But the way of the wicked is like deep darkness;
   they do not know what makes them stumble.

Quote

James Clear,

"What outcomes are you trying to create? What type of life are you trying to cultivate? Stay focused."

Joke

I got carded at a liquor store, and my Blockbuster card accidentally fell out.

The cashier said never mind.

Verse

Proverbs 1,7

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge,
but fools despise wisdom and instruction.

Quote

Oliver Wendell Holmes,

"The greatest thing in this world is not so much where we are, but in what direction we are moving."

Joke

What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?

Supplies!

Verse

Colossians 1:15-17

The Son is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation. For in him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things have been created through him and for him. He is before all things, and in him all things hold together.

Quote

James Clear,

"Enough courage to get started + enough sense to focus on something you're naturally suited for + enough persistence to stay in the game long enough to catch a few lucky breaks + a lot of hard work. There's your recipe."

Joke

Why do candles love birthdays?

They like to get lit.

Verse

2 Thessalonians 2:1-4

Concerning the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ and our being gathered to him, we ask you, brothers and sisters, 2not to become easily unsettled or alarmed by the teaching allegedly from us—whether by a prophecy or by word of mouth or by letter—asserting that the day of the Lord has already come. 3Don’t let anyone deceive you in any way, for that day will not come until the rebellion occurs and the man of lawlessness a is revealed, the man doomed to destruction. 4He will oppose and will exalt himself over everything that is called God or is worshiped, so that he sets himself up in God’s temple, proclaiming himself to be God.

Quote

James Clear,

"Enough courage to get started + enough sense to focus on something you're naturally suited for + enough persistence to stay in the game long enough to catch a few lucky breaks + a lot of hard work. There's your recipe."

Joke

Why do candles love birthdays?

They like to get lit.

Verse

2 Timothy 7-10

For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline. So do not be ashamed of the testimony about our Lord or of me his prisoner. Rather, join with me in suffering for the gospel, by the power of God. He has saved us and called us to a holy life—not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace. This grace was given us in Christ Jesus before the beginning of time, but it has now been revealed through the appearing of our Savior, Christ Jesus, who has destroyed death and has brought life and immortality to light through the gospel.

Quote

Earl Nightingale,

"Our attitude towards others determines their attitude towards us."

Joke

Why don't kids remember their past birthday parties?

They're too focused on the present!

Verse

Joshua 9:14,15 - The betrayl of Israel.  Why the world lives in srife today.

The Israelites sampled their provisions but did not inquire of the Lord. Then Joshua made a treaty of peace with them to let them live, and the leaders of the assembly ratified it by oath.

Quote

Robert H. Schuller,

"Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines."

Joke

I kept wondering why the baseball was getting bigger.

Then it hit me.

Verse

Romans 2:1-3

You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge another, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things. Now we know that God’s judgment against those who do such things is based on truth. So when you, a mere human being, pass judgment on them and yet do the same things, do you think you will escape God’s judgment?

Quote

Wayne Dyer,

"It's never crowded along the extra mile."

Joke

Why couldn’t the pony sing a lullaby?

Because she was a little horse.

Verse

Romans 1:21-23

For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened. Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images made to look like a mortal human being and birds and animals and reptiles.

Quote

Epictetus,

"The key is to keep company only with people who uplift you, whose presence calls forth your best."

Joke

Someone told me that it’s impossible to make a pun about vegetables.

I said that’s not nececelery true.

Verse

2 Thess 3:6-15

In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, we command you, brothers and sisters, to keep away from every believer who is idle and disruptive and does not live according to the teaching a you received from us. 7For you yourselves know how you ought to follow our example. We were not idle when we were with you, 8nor did we eat anyone’s food without paying for it. On the contrary, we worked night and day, laboring and toiling so that we would not be a burden to any of you. 9We did this, not because we do not have the right to such help, but in order to offer ourselves as a model for you to imitate. 10For even when we were with you, we gave you this rule: “The one who is unwilling to work shall not eat.”

11We hear that some among you are idle and disruptive. They are not busy; they are busybodies. 12Such people we command and urge in the Lord Jesus Christ to settle down and earn the food they eat. 13And as for you, brothers and sisters, never tire of doing what is good.

14Take special note of anyone who does not obey our instruction in this letter. Do not associate with them, in order that they may feel ashamed. 15Yet do not regard them as an enemy, but warn them as you would a fellow believer.

Quote

Anne Frank,

"Whoever is happy will make others happy too."

Joke

What did Baby Corn say to Mama Corn?

Where's Pop Corn?

Verse

Matthew 7:15-20

“Watch out for false prophets. They come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves. By their fruit you will recognize them. Do people pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? Likewise, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Thus, by their fruit you will recognize them.

Quote

Charles M. Schulz,

"Life is like a ten speed bicycle. Most of us have gears we never use."

Joke

How does NASA organize a party?

They planet.

Verse

Matthew 7:15-20

Watch out for false prophets. They come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves. By their fruit you will recognize them. Do people pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? Likewise, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Thus, by their fruit you will recognize them.

Quote

Karren Brady,

"The most important characteristics you need to succeed in business are resilience, determination and persistence."

Joke

Why do seagulls fly over the ocean?

Because if they flew over the bay, we'd call them bagels."The most important characteristics you need to succeed in business are resilience, determination and persistence.

Verse

Matthew 7:6

Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces.

Quote

Butch Hartman,

"Life is full of challenges, but I always have the Three Ps: Passion, patience and persistence. And the fourth on is pizza."

Joke

What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.

Verse

Matthew 7:13,14

Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.

Quote

Og Mandino,

"Failure will never overtake me if my determination to succeed is strong enough."

Joke

How does the moon cut his hair?

Eclipse it