Verse

Psalm 33:20-22

We wait in hope for the Lord;
  he is our help and our shield.
In him our hearts rejoice,
  for we trust in his holy name.
May your unfailing love be with us, Lord,
  even as we put our hope in you.

Quote

Robert Collier,
"Success is the sum of small efforts - repeated day in and day out."

Joke

What would happen if you threw all the books in the ocean?

It would cause a title wave.

Verse

James 4:13-17

Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.” As it is, you boast in your arrogant schemes. All such boasting is evil. If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them.

Quote

George Bernard Shaw,

"The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want and if they can't find them, make them."

Joke

What did the buffalo say to his son when he dropped him off at school?

“Bison!”

Verse

James 4:7-10

Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.

Quote

Booker T. Washington,

"Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome."

Joke

What did the comedian say when he walked into the bank?

This is a standup.

Verse

James 3:13-16

Who is wise and understanding among you? Let them show it by their good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. Such “wisdom” does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.

Quote

Thomas J. Watson,
"To be successful, you have to have your heart in your business and your business in your heart."

Joke

What do you call a Golden Retriever at the beach?

A hot dog.

Verse

James 2:8-10

If you really keep the royal law found in Scripture, “Love your neighbor as yourself,” a you are doing right. But if you show favoritism, you sin and are convicted by the law as lawbreakers. For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it.

Quote

G.M. Trevelyan,
"Education... has produced a vast population able to read but unable to distinguish what is worth reading."

Joke

We're not socks. But I think we'd make a great pair.

Verse

James 1:13-15

When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.

Quote

Milton Berle,
"Money can't buy you happiness, but it helps you look for it in a lot more places."

Joke

Why did the man put his money in the freezer?
He wanted cold, hard cash.

Verse

Ecclesiastes 12:11-14

The words of the wise are like goads, their collected sayings like firmly embedded nails—given by one shepherd. b 12Be warned, my son, of anything in addition to them.
Of making many books there is no end, and much study wearies the body.
Now all has been heard;
  here is the conclusion of the matter:
Fear God and keep his commandments,
  for this is the duty of all mankind.
For God will bring every deed into judgment,
  including every hidden thing,
whether it is good or evil.

Quote

Les Dawson,
"The way prices are rising, the good old days are last week."

Joke

Want to hear a joke about procrastination?
I’ll tell you later.

Verse

2 Timothy 3:1-5

But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people.

Quote

Billy Graham,

"Courage is contagious. When a brave man takes a stand, the spines of others are often stiffened."

Joke

I couldn’t figure out how to fasten my seat belt.

Then it clicked.

Verse

Psalm 24:24,25

To show partiality in judging is not good:
  Whoever says to the guilty, “You are innocent,”
will be cursed by peoples and denounced by nations.
  But it will go well with those who convict the guilty,
and rich blessing will come on them.

Quote

Buddha,
"Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing is at someone else; you are the one who gets burned."

Joke

Never laugh at your significant other's choices — because you happen to be one of them.

Verse

Psalm 1:1-6

Blessed is the one
who does not walk in step with the wicked
or stand in the way that sinners take
or sit in the company of mockers,
but whose delight is in the law of the Lord,
and who meditates on his law day and night.
That person is like a tree planted by streams of water,
which yields its fruit in season
and whose leaf does not wither—
whatever they do prospers.
Not so the wicked!
They are like chaff
that the wind blows away.
Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment,
nor sinners in the assembly of the righteous.
For the Lord watches over the way of the righteous,
but the way of the wicked leads to destruction.

Quote

Soren Kierkegaard,
"Life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced."

Joke

"What does a lemon say when it answers the phone?"
"Yellow!"

Verse

Isaiah 1:21-23

See how the faithful city
has become a prostitute!
She once was full of justice;
righteousness used to dwell in her—
but now murderers!
Your silver has become dross,
your choice wine is diluted with water.
Your rulers are rebels,
partners with thieves;
they all love bribes
and chase after gifts.
They do not defend the cause of the fatherless;
the widow’s case does not come before them.

Quote

Henry Ford,
"When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it."

Joke

Why don't skeletons fight each other?
They don't have the guts.

Verse

Jude 1:17-20

But, dear friends, remember what the apostles of our Lord Jesus Christ foretold. They said to you, “In the last times there will be scoffers who will follow their own ungodly desires.” These are the people who divide you, who follow mere natural instincts and do not have the Spirit.

But you, dear friends, by building yourselves up in your most holy faith and praying in the Holy Spirit, keep yourselves in God’s love as you wait for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ to bring you to eternal life.

Quote

Woody Paige,
"I can do without your attitude. I have one of my own."

Joke

What did one hat say to the other?
"You stay here, I'll go on ahead."

Verse

Joshua 9,3-6
However, when the people of Gibeon heard what Joshua had done to Jericho and Ai, they resorted to a ruse: They went as a delegation whose donkeys were loaded a with worn-out sacks and old wineskins, cracked and mended. They put worn and patched sandals on their feet and wore old clothes. All the bread of their food supply was dry and moldy. Then they went to Joshua in the camp at Gilgal and said to him and the Israelites, “We have come from a distant country; make a treaty with us.”

Quote

Robert Frost,
"A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer."

Joke

Did you hear about the fire at the circus?
It was in tents.

Verse

Matthew 6:9-15
This, then, is how you should pray:

‘Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name,
your kingdom come,
your will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us today our daily bread.
And forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from the evil one.  ’

For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

Quote

Jim Rohn,
"Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment."

Joke

How do you organize a space party?
You planet.

Verse

Ecclesiastes 12:13,14

Now all has been heard;
here is the conclusion of the matter:
Fear God and keep his commandments,
for this is the duty of all mankind.
For God will bring every deed into judgment,
including every hidden thing,
whether it is good or evil.

Quote

Hunter S. Thompson,

"The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side."

Joke

I'm reading a book on anti-gravity.
It's impossible to put down.